if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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