Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
