she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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