i just had sex bonerless
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
