i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
