I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
