I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
