Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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