i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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