i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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