You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
