Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think my moral compass just broke
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