Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
