hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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