Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
