The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
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What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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