I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
