Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
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How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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