Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
