Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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