I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
