She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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