Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize