Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
