I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
