You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My breasts were aching with rage.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
