This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
