I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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