just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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