Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
