Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
