So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've blown a few things in my day
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize