So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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