This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
