the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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