Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize