I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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