sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
