Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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