I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we should paint friendship bongs
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
