ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I could fuck to npr.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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