HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
