ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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