It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
