I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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