Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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