it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
