Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize