My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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