i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
