i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize