Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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