Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
