ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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