i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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