She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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