Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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