im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
