the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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