My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
