dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
