why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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