I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
