We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
